Just come back tomorrow

All of the sudden it is not that easy to just come back tomorrow.  It took everything out of me to do what I did in the first place. I started off at the doctor with my 4 month old my baby for her vaccination. From there I walked on and bought a toilet seat. After that I decided to go to the post office to sort out the baby’s passport. On m way I passed a pharmacy where I got my own antibiotics for my kidney infection. Final stop the post office, I thought I had everything for her passport. I just had enough money for it and a taxi home. I had all the forms signed and two pictures. I had just walked about a mile and felt it all through my body. If it hadn’t been for the pram and the many breaks I wouldn’t have made it. Tired and in pain I was happy to be going home soon and having done all my jobs in town. There was no cue and I walked straight up and handed over all the papers. I was then told I needed a passport of one of the parents to send it with the forms. That was the drop that made the bucket flood as we would say in Dutch. I started crying especially when she said just come back tomorrow. I wanted to say to her no I can’t just come back tomorrow I have no money left for a taxi or the power and energy in my body. It is amazing how some things are so easily said but not for everybody that easily done. It is not her fault I look very healthy and having a baby must mean I am healthy. Never judge a book by its cover. Luckily I do look healthy because one day I will be as healthy as I look. I walked a mile with the aid of a pram but I did it. I will be able to walk before my baby will. Till that day I will not just come back tomorrow

Missy and Tailly

Missy and Tailly are the best of friends.


Where ever missy goes Tailly follows

Sometimes Tailly wants to go first

Tailly tries to go past missy but can’t go past her head.



Tailly is taller than missy

Tailly can turn very quickly from left to right

Tailly is great to keep a look out



Missy loves fish

When there is fish on the kitchen counter,

Missy will eat it while Tailly is on the look out



Missy loves attention and cuddles

Tailly prefers to knock everything of the coffee table



When Tailly gets hurt Missy Feels it too

Missy screams and runs away with Tailly

They find a quiet place out of everybody’s way

Missy then looks after Tailly and tries to lick the pain away



When missy is a sleep,

Tailly will stay awake to make sure missy is safe.

After a while Tailly becomes to tired

And cuddles into missy and also falls a sleep.

Control

Control over your own life and destiny. It is my life and I have the control, I can make it or break it. It is up to me to look after my health and to strenghten my body. I can choose to do different things. I can decide to do something new like kinesiology and to do the things that worked in the past and that my body recognises like dancing. If I want to be a published writer it is up to me to do different things to get there. Help is always welcome and I will look for it but not for me to sit back and expect the help to do it for me. It is my life and passion and there for up to me to keep the control and make it work.

Freedom and independance

Freedom, something I took for granted. I am free to leave my front door if and when I want too. I lost my freedom twice now, the first time was when I was no longer able to work in a company and the second time when I had my baby girl. I haven't lost my freedom forever but it is up to me to find new ways to get it back and that takes a while. Although quick fixes get a result quick but often they don't last. I rather work on the long term solution. The first time I looked for something I enjoyed doing, I could earn money with and do it at home. I found out I loved writing and it gives me lots of energy. Beside the writing I focused on getting my health back so I could do simple and daily tasks. I had to strenghten my legs and body to be able to get up out  of bed and to walk around the house. When I got pregnant I stopped all exercises to carry my baby full term after having had 3 miscarriages. Once my baby girl was born my time was fully given to her and again I lost my freedom. My body had gotten so weak that walking was extremely hard so walking out of the door was to me like climbing Kilimanjaro.Writing was impossible and when she was asleep I would look after the house chorus and because my body was so weak it takes me 3 to 4 times longer then before. It is up to me to change my life and get my freedom back. Now that she is 4 months I am able to focus on me more and strenghten myself.Right now it isn't easy but it will help me in the long run.