Control

Control over your own life and destiny. It is my life and I have the control, I can make it or break it. It is up to me to look after my health and to strenghten my body. I can choose to do different things. I can decide to do something new like kinesiology and to do the things that worked in the past and that my body recognises like dancing. If I want to be a published writer it is up to me to do different things to get there. Help is always welcome and I will look for it but not for me to sit back and expect the help to do it for me. It is my life and passion and there for up to me to keep the control and make it work.

Freedom and independance

Freedom, something I took for granted. I am free to leave my front door if and when I want too. I lost my freedom twice now, the first time was when I was no longer able to work in a company and the second time when I had my baby girl. I haven't lost my freedom forever but it is up to me to find new ways to get it back and that takes a while. Although quick fixes get a result quick but often they don't last. I rather work on the long term solution. The first time I looked for something I enjoyed doing, I could earn money with and do it at home. I found out I loved writing and it gives me lots of energy. Beside the writing I focused on getting my health back so I could do simple and daily tasks. I had to strenghten my legs and body to be able to get up out  of bed and to walk around the house. When I got pregnant I stopped all exercises to carry my baby full term after having had 3 miscarriages. Once my baby girl was born my time was fully given to her and again I lost my freedom. My body had gotten so weak that walking was extremely hard so walking out of the door was to me like climbing Kilimanjaro.Writing was impossible and when she was asleep I would look after the house chorus and because my body was so weak it takes me 3 to 4 times longer then before. It is up to me to change my life and get my freedom back. Now that she is 4 months I am able to focus on me more and strenghten myself.Right now it isn't easy but it will help me in the long run.

A healthy looking sick person

I was born with two arms legs, hands and all the other body parts you expect when a baby is born. I am no different then any other human being besides the fact that we are all individuals and special in our own way. Even though I lived healthy enough I took my health for granted even when I was diagnosed with MS and a blood disease that I realised how unhealthy I lived. I still didn't change my life though I only started to do that when my illnesses started to affect my daily activities, I started reading up on my illnesses and how I could improve my life style to improve my health. I stayed under the traditional doctors while looking at other alternatives. I started with my diet and changed habits I had had for 28 years ( the amount of years I had been on earth). It was when I got sick that I realised how much my health means to me. I am now a healthy looking sick person I am not yet fully where I want to be with my health but I will get there.

Good baby advise

When I had my first baby everybody had great advise for me.
Because I didn't know anything about babies I had never changed a nappy and only had held two babies before Lena was born I listened to it all and everybody had their opinion.
So many people give advise about what to do with the baby and how to do things with the baby.
the first 6 weeks I did everything that people advised me to do It was only after the 6 weeks that I started to get to know Lena and what to do.
The advise is all meant really well but it stays advise, I always say advise needs to be made your own.
Now Lena is three months old I know her and what she wants and what works. Now I can prove all those know it all''s wrong. Every baby is different and the person who is with the baby 24/7 knows the baby best.
I am following my own instinct now and when somebody gives advise I take it as advise make it my own or let it go in the one ear and out the other. As a first time mam and never interested in babies I found it all very confusing but together  (Lena and me) we are getting there

Baby feeding

I only held a baby twice in my life before I had my own and never changed a nappy (diaper). That's how much of a new mother I was when my baby Girl was born just before I turned 31.
So many new things to learn that I never realized before. Like that feeding a baby normally takes about an hour ( the time depends on the baby). Before I had Lena I thought she would drink for about ten minutes and be done for another few hours. It was such a shock when I was told it could take up to an hour.  When  I was breast feeding she would fall a sleep after 30 minutes and would have a nap for about twenty minutes before she would continue. after six weeks of breast feeding I changed started with bottle feeds and she then being a bit older was able to keep drinking and not fall a sleep. But still between changing the nappy(diaper), drinking and winding her it takes about an hour.I am curious to know how long the meal time will be for solid foods. I will let you know when I find out in about 2 months