Teething

Luckily it was nearly 30 years ago that I was teething myself and I can't remember it. When I look at my baby and the pain she is in I realize that it must be really painful. Luckily I know that we all went through it and we all survived. It started when she was about 4 months. The drew ling, biting on things and the red cheeks. We thought we can handle this it ain't that bad. Until she got worst. She started actually banging her head. Now 7 months old she has 1 tooth and more to come quickly going by the red gums and red cheeks. A lot of distraction tactics are used to keep her from noticing the pain. The sooner they are all up the sooner I will have my peace back. Although she will be walking soon to so one pain replaced by another.

The rule of three

If it isn't food, it is wind. If it isn't wind it is a dirty nappy..
These are these three things my baby wanted in the first three months. Only three but I always seemed to forget one of them. Even after checking all of them she was still unhappy. All I could do was check the three again. And then she slept and slept and slept. When she was awake and she would smile it made it all worth it. I was told it was wind but I took it as a smile because it would cheer me up thinking it was a smile. It was like having a doll that moved, my baby girl didn't cry that much ( only when I forgot one of the three). The first few months it does always come down to the rule of three. And then she actually started smiling but this was also the time that there was more then just the rule of three. I was wishing time away but now I miss the easiness of the rule of three.

The valley is deep so the mountain will be twice as high

It is not easy to stay positive when in that deep valley. The mountain seems higher and steeper then it is. The key for me is not to get stressed. Stress doesn't help me with my illnesses (MS and a blood disease). Trying to get anything of the government that will help me is difficult and very stressful. Maybe I deserve to get it like people tell me very kindly but just because I deserve to get it doesn't mean I will get it. People tell me to lay it on I have more chance. Back when Ireland (This is not only the case in Ireland) had money when sick you could get anything. Unfortunately for me this is no longer the case now you have to fight for help. I am happy that in government they finally a little sense and that they are making it harder for anybody just to get it.
There is no point in trying to point a finger because that won't get me anything. I will just have to be strong. Look after my self and baby and forget about the rest. Not a very happy e-mail but I had to get rid of the negativity to make space for the positive feelings.

Strenght

It takes strenght to admit that you need help. I am not just saying that to make myself feel better I personally believe it. I always believed that being strong meant I had to do it myself. Asking for help was showing weakness. After falling of the stairs a lot more came down then just me. Like my stubbornness asking for help and always having to do it myself.
I learned asking for help is harder then doing it myself. there is nothing wrong with asking for help. I learned to ask for help without feeling bad about it. I ask without using pity or guilt and people can say yes or now. I found that majority of the time people will help if they can are are happy to help.
Because before I never asked for help people know that I must really need it if I ask for it now.
I know (I am not a psychic but I have to stay positive) that one day I will be able to return the favour. Return it by being 100% healthy. I will get there.

Falling down the stairs

I had my two hands full. My breakfast in the one hand and bottles of vitamins in the other. I had managed to walk up to the top of the stairs. That is when I felt myself slowly leaning back wards. I realised that it wasn't good. I dropped everything. It was too late I had started to fall backwards. I didn't manage to grab the rail. I fell 2 steps at a time. After bouncing twice on the steps I manged to half turn instinctively. This was when I started crying for help. "Help me. Help me"but it was too late. I can still remember the feeling of terror and pain.
I hit of the stairs 3 times before I hit the tiled floor. I manged to turn on my side by the time I hit the floor. My knee hit the wall at the bottom of the stairs. The last thing to hit was my head of the ground. At least I couldn't go any further. From the fall and the shock the breath was taken out of me. For a few seconds I couldn't breathe. The fall made me realise that it is less painful and easier to ask for help and admit I can't do everything yet. It made my wall of resistance come down with a crash too.

Just come back tomorrow

All of the sudden it is not that easy to just come back tomorrow.  It took everything out of me to do what I did in the first place. I started off at the doctor with my 4 month old my baby for her vaccination. From there I walked on and bought a toilet seat. After that I decided to go to the post office to sort out the baby’s passport. On m way I passed a pharmacy where I got my own antibiotics for my kidney infection. Final stop the post office, I thought I had everything for her passport. I just had enough money for it and a taxi home. I had all the forms signed and two pictures. I had just walked about a mile and felt it all through my body. If it hadn’t been for the pram and the many breaks I wouldn’t have made it. Tired and in pain I was happy to be going home soon and having done all my jobs in town. There was no cue and I walked straight up and handed over all the papers. I was then told I needed a passport of one of the parents to send it with the forms. That was the drop that made the bucket flood as we would say in Dutch. I started crying especially when she said just come back tomorrow. I wanted to say to her no I can’t just come back tomorrow I have no money left for a taxi or the power and energy in my body. It is amazing how some things are so easily said but not for everybody that easily done. It is not her fault I look very healthy and having a baby must mean I am healthy. Never judge a book by its cover. Luckily I do look healthy because one day I will be as healthy as I look. I walked a mile with the aid of a pram but I did it. I will be able to walk before my baby will. Till that day I will not just come back tomorrow

Missy and Tailly

Missy and Tailly are the best of friends.


Where ever missy goes Tailly follows

Sometimes Tailly wants to go first

Tailly tries to go past missy but can’t go past her head.



Tailly is taller than missy

Tailly can turn very quickly from left to right

Tailly is great to keep a look out



Missy loves fish

When there is fish on the kitchen counter,

Missy will eat it while Tailly is on the look out



Missy loves attention and cuddles

Tailly prefers to knock everything of the coffee table



When Tailly gets hurt Missy Feels it too

Missy screams and runs away with Tailly

They find a quiet place out of everybody’s way

Missy then looks after Tailly and tries to lick the pain away



When missy is a sleep,

Tailly will stay awake to make sure missy is safe.

After a while Tailly becomes to tired

And cuddles into missy and also falls a sleep.